‘Cherish every moment’ is something I’ve heard a lot since becoming a parent. I’m constantly told to take it all in, and not to blink or else I’ll miss it. The thing is, when my focus was on ‘cherishing every moment’, I began to focus too much on the things I would miss about previous stages and not take in the slight changes that actually are incredibly welcomed.
I had a conversation with a women who has children in their teens and it completely changed my outlook on ‘cherishing every moment’. She told me about how she misses the baby stage, but she loves being able to sit down with a glass of wine and talk to her daughter. She told me misses the cuddles but loves going to her son’s swimming competitions and cheering him on in the sidelines. She told me that while she misses those first, early years, she really enjoys them being that little bit older.
Speaking to her made me realise that instead of feeing saddened by not having a baby in my arms, I should be relishing in everything that these new stages bring. I can now have actual conversations with my 3 year old and quite honestly I feel a lot less lonely day to day having another human in the house who can have a conversation. I can now leave the house with a small backpack, which means I can now climb the towers in the park with boys instead of herding them into the sandpit, so I can keep an eye on them, the pram and the mountain of stuff tucked away in the various pockets of the changing bag.
I can now race remote control cars around the downstairs of our house, which is a lot more fun that listening to the Toot Toot cars singing their incredibly annoying songs on repeat. I can now sit down and drink a cup of hot tea, while my children play together instead of playing referee because the little one broke apart the train track. We can all now sit as a family on movie night and watch an entire film together, without one of the boys getting bored and causing havoc. We all get a decent nights’ sleep now that 12am, 1am, 3am wake up calls are behind us.
When I block out the stream of unwanted comments and spend less time ‘cherishing every moment’, I get to actually be in the moment. I get to see that I have a a fiercely independent and headstrong toddler, who loves music. I get to see that I have an incredibly kind hearted, calm little boy who is a conservationist in the making. When I stop putting pressuring myself to ‘Cherish every moment’, I get to live in the moment and to be honest, I much prefer it that way. I don’t need people telling me to ‘cherish every moment’ when we are a young family, with so many adventures still ahead of us.
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