To despise ‘mummy blogs’

Last night I noticed that my friend and fellow parenting blogger Jade from Raising the Rings had shared a lovely little mumsnet discussion about ‘mummy bloggers’. It wasn’t really a discussion as such, more a thread of women being nasty about other women. The general consensus was that ‘mummy blogs’ are a waste of time and are either women showcasing how perfect their life is, or racing to the bottom to be ‘world’s worst mother’. I read a few comments about how these women who blog should be more focused on raising their children than writing their blogs. Naturally a lot of parenting bloggers were angry by some of the comments, but I found the whole thread hilarious and saddening in equal measure!

Working mother - How blogging helps gender equality
Image courtesy of shutterstock/VGstockstudio

 

Now let’s put aside the irony of these women grouping together on an online platform to moan and be nasty about other women who write and express their opinion on an online platform, but in a way that can actually evolve into a business and career. What I want to discuss is the way a lot of the comments had the view that ‘mummy bloggers’ should be more focused on the raising of children, than having any interests, hobbies or god forbid a career outside of their role as ‘mother’. I mean I adore being a mother and becoming a mother is by far the most wonderful experience of my entire life and I expect it always will be, but being a mother isn’t the only part of my existence and nor should it be.

 

Prior to having children I studied media based subjects for five years, interned at an online magazine outlet and interviewed a range of high profile figures within the entertainment and business industries. I had a love for music, theatre, dance and art. I travelled, lived abroad and then worked within a fast paced, predominantly male orientated environment brokering deals within European markets. I became resilient, headstrong, passionate and a feminist. I harnessed a natural talent of storytelling and writing. None of those things disappeared because I grew a couple human beings and then pushed said human beings out of my vagina. I didn’t suddenly become a blank canvas because I became a mother. I still had a voice, I still had interests, talents, passion and drive. I still had all those things and I found a way to utilise them, while staying at home and spending as many waking hours as physically possible caring for my children. I did that by starting my very own parenting blog.

 

In my opinion mummy blogs give a lot of women a voice, a way to share their experiences and the option to create their own brand or business that fits in around raising children. From personal experience, I can say that my blog has given me an outlet to express myself and my blog has also provided my family with some incredible experiences. As a parenting blogger, I see success stories regularly, where women have been able to improve their family’s financial stability through the medium of blogging.

 

It seems irresponsible in my opinion to tear down these women who put themselves out there, give themselves a voice and make themselves heard. It seems rather outdated to assume a women should take the role of subordinate just because she has become a mother. If all women who bore children were made to sit in a corner, be quiet and solely look after children, think of the amount of talent that would be lost.

 

In the UK there is a gender pay gap. In the UK the cost of childcare before school age is extremely expensive, so much so that in my case it has actually cost me out of the traditional sense of work, where I go to an office every day. I think it is important to note that a study from Harvard University has highlighted that girls from a family where the mother works are more likely to have better careers, higher pay and more equal relationships. Let’s also note that boys from a family where the mother works are more likely to be involved in household chores and childrearing responsibilities. It’s seems an odd notion to tear down an entire industry that allows women to harness their creativity, create a business and do so around childrearing responsibilities, which in turn alleviates financial strain from men and allows men to be more involved in the family experience. The women on this forum express how wonderful an experience it is to raise children and the chances are some of these women have sons, so why tear down an industry that allows their sons to be more involved in the very thing they say is so magical? It just doesn’t make much sense to me.

 

But of course who I am to comment? I’m just a mother and would do better to spend time solely raising children, cooking dinner and cleaning my house than wasting my time writing about key feminist points on the internet via a ‘mummy blog’.

 

What are you thoughts on this? Let me know in the comments, on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. You can also follow me on Pinterest.

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45 thoughts on “To despise ‘mummy blogs’

    1. I enjoy reading a lot of parenting blogs. It’s nice to find ones that mirror my experiences and also have great activities and crafts for little ones.

  1. Have they heard of night/nap time where children sleep? I write to 1- raise awareness of disabilities and 2- to get it off my chest as a form of counselling. Do I dont do it when the kids are around. I just don’t get why people are such key board warriors!

    Don’t like it? Don’t read it.

    this has really angered me.

  2. I’ve taken time out from what I ‘should’ be doing to do something I ‘enjoy’ doing… and that is reading blogs like yours. God forbid I have a life outside of motherhood, or write a blog in the evening when the kids are in bed. Some people just need to let others be and if it doesn’t float their boat then fine.

    What may be ‘crap’ to one person could be treasure to another so who are we to judge whose writing is better than whose anyway. I can only imagine that these people are the 0.01% of people who aren’t self indulgent on social media and have never so much shared a sniff of their life! x

    1. Exactly. I think the beauty of blogging is that there are so many ways to be creative and it allows people the scope to explore their creativity. Whether a blog is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ is rather subjectibve anyway, so it seems odd to just write off an entire niche of blogging.

  3. Well done for writing this, it never ceases to amaze me how many people criticise parent bloggers. Sadly it’s very alive amongst dad bloggers. I’m not really sure why people do it whether it’s jealousy that we are succeeding at something we enjoy who knows. But personally I wish these sort of people would simply go away. Of course I also think blogging helps women massively and if it improves the ridiculous gender pay gap that has got to be good. Great read

    1. Thank you for taking the time to comment. It does seem odd that the parenting blogger niche is criticised yet other niches are applauded for exploring a new form of media. I personally love reading about success stories and find that it inspires me to continue to build up my blog and brand.

  4. Very well said! Totally agree with you. I hate women tearing other women down. There was so much internalised sexism on that thread. It really saddened me.

    1. Thank you taking the time to comment. I wrote recently about how it is important to build one another up and it saddens me when I see threads like that, which are mainly about tearing people down.

  5. I assume the mums who had a bad word to say would also be the mums that meet up for coffee and let their kids run riot whilst they enjoy a good natter and a catch up!
    There is absolutely nothing wrong with parenting blogs, and in most cases it’s actually very comforting to know and read that other kids are going through the same as yours, or that how you’re feeling is completely normal and you’re not alone in the world of parenting!
    As you said, you don’t lose yourself because you’ve become a parent, your wants and enjoyments are still there, and if you can intertwine that with raising a family from home then why wouldn’t you!

    1. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I’ve found that when I get time to work on my blog and focus on something for me, it actually makes me a better mother.

  6. As you mention in your post, it’s just women being nasty about other women. If they blogged, they’d find their voice outside of tearing down other women. They’d certainly look at their life a little differently. Fear is a horrible thing, and I feel sad that they fear something and disparage those that don’t

    1. Thank you for your comment. It was just such a negative thread and my worry is that things like that can discourage people from pursuing something like blogging. I couldn’t imagine not writing my blog now, it is a very strong part of who I am.

  7. Thanks for this. That thread was pretty vile. If you don’t like what we do, don’t read it! Scroll on past. I am unable to go out to work for various reasons, and have had to give up my career, but I’ll be damned if a bunch of keyboard warriors will stop me from making a business for myself through writing.

  8. I think everyone is entitled to write whatever they want on their own personal blog – because it’s just that, personal. I can’t stand it when bloggers get all bitchy about other bloggers 🙁 x

  9. Brilliant post. What angers me most about that thread is that it is another example of women bashing other women. When will we learn to stand together and have each other’s backs? Bashing Mummy Bloggers is just an excuse to have a go at other mums in general. It does annoy me.

    Plus, there are varied reasons why people write blogs. I do it to share my life experiences because I hate the idea of anyone going through similar and feeling alone. But I’m not forcing anyone to read my blog. If you don’t like Mummy Blogs then people don’t have to read them. Or waste precious time going on a forum to slate them. Maybe those women should spend less time putting catty and unnecessary comments on a meaningless forum and go and raise their kids.

    Great post lovely! Hugs Lucy xxxx

    1. Thank you so much for your comment. I think that blogging is such a great way of reaching out to people, but is also a wonderful way of tackling subjects that maybe don’t appear as often as needed in the mainstream press. I’ve found that since a lot of bloggers have started to tackle gender specific marketing for example, a lot of huge changes have been made (although there is a lot of work still to be done). Blogging is a very powerful media and it seems very unnecessary to attack a certain niche.

  10. I think a lot of it is jealousy and they do not understand the work that goes into running a blog. I take things with a pinch of salt, if it works for me then great, if it doesn’t I would make a change

  11. Well done for writing this. That thread was awful. The irony of it all is hiarious. Us mummy bloggers work hard and never don’t raise our kids properly etc. The view of being nothing but a mother is so out dated and down right patronising. X

  12. I think people assume that parents must be with their children 100% of the time, i get to blog when my baby sleeps and my older two are independent enough to create their own fun..

    people are just so judgemental

  13. I think because anyone can publish a blog you get a real mixed bag of quality out there. It doesn’t mean anyone should stop, not at all, but blogs are easy targets for criticism.

    1. Whether a blog is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ is quite subjective and I think there are so many parts to blogging that require different skill sets. I don’t think there is any need to tear people down regardless of how ‘good’ or ‘bad’ a person may feel a blog is or isn’t.

    1. Thank you for your comment. I think blogging opens so many doors for mothers, especially as so many are forced out of work due to childcare costs. I think it is so unnecessary to put people down for doing something they enjoy doing.

  14. I honestly think my blog kept me sane in the early days of parenthood. It gave me something to focus on that wasn’t 100% baby orientated, and kept me in contact with other humans! I think it’s so very important to have a hobby and if you’re lucky enough to turn it into a job then go for it!

    1. Absolutely. The parenting blogging industry has such a wealth of knowledge and support, it is a shame that people don’t see that side to it.

  15. It annoys me how women can treat other women, what ever happened to female power? I am proud to call myself a feminist and I think that mummy or parent bloggers are amazing and why shouldn’t they be allowed to express themselves. After all you are more than just mothers but individuals with a voice too!

  16. There are so many things I do not like but I just scroll on by. I never read books, blogs, newspapers and so on that I do not enjoy. We are all different, I thought 50 Shades of Grey was the worst book ever, I just couldn’t read it because it was so badly written, but others didn’t agree. Millions read it and they even made a film about it.
    I know my blog doesn’t appeal to everyone, but I don’t write for them, I write for me.

  17. I didn’t read the thread as I know I would have got upset / annoyed! Surely people have got better things to do… Such a shame that they feel the need to be so horrid to people who are trying to express themselves / make extra money / write because it’s their passion! x

  18. This is the second time I’ve heard this and it astounds me, even though I really shouldn’t be surprised by anything that happens these days with the haters out there yet it does. I don’t look at forums on these matters so I could really care less what a bunch of strangers have to say about something they don’t understand. I’m not even sure there are forums dedicated to this subject matter here in the U.S. and if there are fortunately I am not aware of their existence. We women should be building each other up, not tearing each other down yet for every group of women that are there for each other there still seems to be this competitive drive for many other women to tear each other down. We live in a brand new century! It’s high time we stop blindly following the old patriarch mentality that raises girls to hate each other and start making our own rules! I, for one, am done listening to the negative and closed-minded comments of others and am just going to do me. It’s my life and I will live it my way!

  19. Let the haters hate, I love reading mummy blogs sometime I pick up I few tip and love see products that I never saw or were never about when my girls were young. I don’t blog about mummy stuff but I’ve had hate comments saying why am I wasting my time blogging when I should be look after my girls. This is whats putting me off publishing a post that is taking me ages to write and edit picture but hopefully I will put it up sometime in September

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