‘Slummy Mummy’ – is there any need?

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you will be aware that the Daily Mail published an ‘article’  this week about ‘slummy mummies’. The ‘article’  attacks parenting mum bloggers who air every part of parenthood, the good, the bad and the ugly. The article continues on to declare that in today’s society, it is a race to the bottom as parent mum bloggers dish out social media posts about neglectful parenting in order to gain more followers and secure book deals.

 

There has naturally been outcry about the post, because let’s face it it’s clearly written by someone who appears to have a stick shoved up her backside and has never had an off day as a parent. The thing is, since reading the ‘article’ I’ve been thinking about a few things and I would like to address them.

 

1. Only mum bloggers are mentioned. Yet I read plenty of successful dad blogs that talk about the same sort of thing and yet they don’t feature in the article at all. In all fairness the whole thing does stink of the 1950’s ideals of being the perfect suburban housewife, so I’m not sure what I was expecting really. I guess I just thought that in 2017 at least one ‘slummy daddy’ would have made the list. Or can dads get away with making difficult parenting moments funny because they have a penis and that makes them less accountable for anything in regards to child rearing? I’d genuinely like to know because as a millennial mum living in 2017, I’d like to think we’re moving forward and that sharing this parenting malarkey is becoming more of the norm… but you know… perhaps I’ve got it all wrong and should be baking muffins for Mr. C instead of being his equal?

Image courtesy of shutterstock.com / Stokkete

 

2. The ‘article’ insinuates that working class mothers are less capable than their middle class counterparts.

 

“And I’d hazard a guess that the children of these resentful, gin-soaked mothers – who are, in reality, educated middle-class authors – are actually very well cared for, enjoy organic fruit and vegetables and sleep in clean pyjamas.”

 

Whether it was intended or not, this is implying that children of working class families are less likely to be cared for. I’m going to hazard a guess and say the woman writing it has no real experience among actual working class people. I’m not entirely sure why social class has any impact on parenting abilities. I’m also a bit confused about the middle class children actually having clean pyjamas, does she think that working class people don’t have washing machines? Or is it more that she doesn’t think working class people harbour the intelligence to use them? I’m hazarding another guess and am also assuming her perception of the working class is built solely on what she reads in the Daily Mail.

 

 

3. This last point was my favourite bit to be honest… the writer then goes on to talk about how much of perfect mum she is (because she bakes, plays and paints with her children) and how these bloggers who talk about the less perfect moments are putting down her perfectness. Now I’m one of those mums who crafts, plays, paints and does sensory play with her children. I’m one of those mums who serves freezer food so rarely, she can count on one hand how many times her children have eaten it. Yet, I’m also the mum that after giving birth to my second child, dropped my homemade shepherds pie on the floor, cut my foot open on the glass, was so sleep deprived I had forgotten to sterilise bottles that day, had a newborn with colic and reflux screaming next to me, had a partner who was working all the time, all resulting in me having to call my friend to help me. That friend got her little one back out of bed, bundled him into the car, came to my house, cleaned up the mess, sterilised the bottles and helped me with my children while I sobbed. She did that with zero judgements, no name calling, no put downs and she checked in every other day for the best part of two weeks to make sure I was okay. So it doesn’t matter how perfect and organised someone can be, there will be bad days, horrendous days actually and what makes those days less horrendous is other parents who get it, don’t judge and are honest. Parents, who don’t make other parents feel bad about themselves, because if we’re being honest, we’re normally judging ourselves harshly enough anyway, without other people adding their two cents worth.

 

 

I’m all for being real about parenting. Let’s open up the door of communication, let’s discuss the things that have always been a bit taboo, because it lets people know they are not alone. It lets people know that it’s okay to find parenting difficult sometimes. Parenting is not always rainbows, unicorns and butterflies… everybody knows it, so why not talk about it? Let’s be in this together.

 

 

Just my thoughts,

The millennial mum, without a pinafore, who really doesn’t want to go back to the 1950’s.

 

 

What are your thoughts on the ‘Slummy Mummy’ article? Let me know in the comments,  on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. You can also follow me on Pinterest.

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14 thoughts on “‘Slummy Mummy’ – is there any need?

  1. Parenting is different for everyone and we should all be building each other up instead of tearing them down at any opportunity. Articles like the Daily Mail one are sensationalist – they do it to get views and numbers up and they got it, mission accomplished as thats all anyone has talked about for the week lol

  2. I’ve read some of the article in question and agree with your points. Parenting is a unique journey for everyone that is lucky enough to experience it – we should unite not clash!

  3. I can’t stand that rag! Their articles are always so negative. Especially where women are concerned – if they’re not criticising our parenting, it’s our clothes, our bodies, what we eat, our work, our perceived lack of work…I just sigh and roll my eyes these days. I’d love to be a fly on the wall of all their journos whose lives are nothing short of perfection. Perhaps I’d get some tips! 😉

  4. I think it is awful that they focused on trying to tear apart women who are helping others to feel normal about their parenting instead of bad – but that will be the trash it was printed in. I only have one question – do people put their kids in clean pjs every night? I don’t mean with breakfast down them dirty but we do use the same pair a couple of times – is that because I am not middle class?

  5. Do you know what, I don’t like the Daily Mail and I won’t read the article as it is just click bait. These women are comedians, showing the funny face of parenting in a way that is accessible to parents stuck at home and there is no harm in it at all

  6. Sounds like the article was written by Katie Hopkins! It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if it was – a couple of things (1) We’re talking about the Daily Mail – and we all know you have to take most stories with a pinch of salt (the older generation would disagree) and (2) The woman who penned the piece was probably offered a nice deal to be brutal …..and even if she was being real, it’s just one person’s (ignorant) opinion. Really good blog post Emma – I enjoyed reading it!

  7. The article was horrible and unnecessary. I don’t know what they really achieved by it apart from making parents of all walks of life angry. Women should be supporting each other not tearing each other apart. At least #soldaritea came out of it. It seemed more like an attack on mummy bloggers than anything else.

  8. I write about the good and the bad. Success and failures. I hope I am honest. Modern mums have it so much more complicated than 100 years ago, now we are told we can and should want to have it all. Mums all do their best whether they work or stay at home. I tried being supermum with my eldest, cooking everything from scratch (including my own fish fingers) but it was unsustainable for me (and he prefers shop bought fish fingers)

  9. I had not heard of this article. I think it is great to read how other mums cope with different situations at different times. I am older now and my children are a lot older but I would have loved reading mummy blogs when my kids were younger to hear how other mums do things and learn different things from blogs. A lot more real than articles that have been written by someone who has never had kids or been through things themselves!!

  10. I have not read this article as I am not a fan of the Daily mail, however from what I have heard it does seem to have caused such an uproar on social media. I think the article has been written just to cause a reaction without any thought of how it must make others feel xx p.s your friend sounds like such an amazing friend to have.

  11. I actually re-read the article this morning after a conversation with a work colleague and I don’t think I’ll ever accept that kind of attitude. It was really awful to hear another woman and Mum tearing other Mum’s down! I mean who gets off on writing that kind of way? I agree with you completely on this post. She was just unacceptable.

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