How do I do it all? Well the truth is… I don’t!

How do you do it all - finding a work / life balance
Image courtesy of Shutterstock/maverick_infanta’s

How do you do it all? This is something that has started to be said to me a lot lately and in all honesty, it baffles me every time.

 

I guess to outsiders I have everything together, I’m studying, I write a blog, I’m a stay at home Mum to my two beautiful children under the age of three, who I do an abundance of activities with, I have a partner who is my best friend, I exercise a fair bit and I’ve just written a children’s book. That is quite a resume isn’t it?

 

But the truth is, despite doing all of those things, it is impossible to do them all at the same time with the support I have. So I don’t. When I was writing my book, I barely looked at the blog, went to the gym or did the background reading for my university course.

 

Once the book was finished, I focused on my blog, barely went to the gym and gained a bit of podge. During all this writing and catching up, my poor children had to entertain themselves for most of the day so sensory activities were a no go.

 

Now the book is done and the blog is caught up, I’ve been spending lots of time with my children. But that means I’m still behind on the reading for university, so my evenings with Mr. C have been sacrificed. For everything I’m focused on, something else has to temporarily take a back seat. So I’m not really doing it all in the slightest. In fact because my children had to entertain themselves for an entire week, I felt like the worst mother in the world, got really upset and had a bit of a cry.

 

The truth is having next to no support is tough, it puts vast limitations on what I am capable of achieving in any said day. So while it is lovely that so many people think I have my life together enough to ask how I cram it all in, I have to admit that I don’t. Because I don’t want to be seen as someone who doesn’t fall apart sometimes, who doesn’t worry if she spent enough time with her children that day, who doesn’t feel her relationship needs some serious TLC occasionally, who doesn’t ask herself if she is working hard enough to shape the life her and her family deserve and who doesn’t feel like she is falling short at pretty much every hurdle. Because I do. In fact I feel like I fall short quite a bit actually.

 

I could pretend that I’ve got this whole juggling act down. I could even go so far as to start writing blog posts telling other people how to get the work / life balance to a fine art. But I prefer to be honest and make other people see, that just because it looks like someone has it together more than you, doesn’t mean they actually do. In fact they may be bumbling through just as much you and hoping for the best. I’d rather be an honest person who doesn’t craft a false image of herself, because bumbling through life is a lot easier when we all bumble through it together.

 

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9 thoughts

  1. I totally agree with you. I try and do everything and things slide that’s just life. As long as we are happy that’s all that matters isn’t it?

  2. yep im with you completely and with 6 kids, a business, blog and craft classes etc get asked all the time how i do it all…like you said though its all different times but just looks like we are constantly on the go!

  3. Hey lady, I think you’re amazing managing to do all that! And dont feel guilty that your children amused themselves for a while, be thankful you have children that can amuse themselves happily. That in itself is a skill for them, and they were learning through play the whole time. My little one will not amuse himself unfortunately, he hangs off me, wants constant attention and very rarely plays on his own. I work from home and all my work has to be done at night once he’s in bed and all the work on my blog and all that it involves is done during afternoon nap time! 🙂

  4. It like I could have written this. There is just so much to juggle I often find myself having a little cry to myself. This morning was a classic example of me falling apart behind the scenes. We have no support or family help and one friend who says she will help but has 3 under 4 herself so I hate asking.
    Plus when you work for yourself people think I have all day to catch up when in reality it would mean missing deadlines.

  5. Very honest article. I also feel like I am constantly juggling. My husband gets completely ignored in the evenings whilst I work on my blog!

  6. I really do believe there is no such thing as having it all. There is just not enough hours in the day and it frustrates me when people (ie media) say you can have it all!

  7. If someone has it all I would love to know how. There seriously isn’t enough time and I really can’t be bothered with those people showing a false lifestyle x

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