I’ve been feeling completely and wholeheartedly ‘found’

ive-been-feeling-found

 

A few months ago I shared a post about feeling a little lost since having children, well this is the update to that post and as you have probably guessed from the title, I’m not feeling quite so lost anymore.

 

When I wrote that post I was really struggling with my sense of self and started to wonder who I even was anymore. I started to realise that fumbling along in life hoping I’d stumble on something, wasn’t really the best way to go about finding myself again. So after a lot of consideration I signed up to an evening class in counselling.

 

I’m not entirely sure why I didn’t consider counselling as a career path sooner if truth be told. I enjoy learning about people, helping them through their hardships and lord knows I’ve tackled many a hurdle in life, so it seemed to fit me perfectly.

 

I’m now a couple of weeks into the course and I’m so glad I took the leap. I’ve met some really fascinating people, but most importantly I really enjoy the course itself. Because of the nature of the course, people are constantly discussing how they feel and that has been a real eye opener for me. It’s interesting to see how many people actually go through the exact same emotions in certain social situations, but most interestingly, it has made me understand that regardless of the picture we all paint of ourselves, we all fight our own battles day to day.

 

So with that in mind, I’ve decided to take the assessment at the end of the course, with the aim of studying the masters next September. Completing the masters will mean I will be a fully qualified counsellor and can then start practising. It also means that I can decide to take my studies further and undertake a PHD if I choose to do so. Something I would never have imagined considering a few years ago.

 

As well as studying again, I have also decided to work towards achieving a lifelong ambition of mine and that is to publish a book. Since having children, I’ve realised just how incredible and fun children’s books are and thanks to this very blog, I have spoken with some brilliantly talented children’s authors, who have inspired me to write my very own children’s book. I won’t give too much away at the moment, but I have finished editing my final draft and today I submitted my first manuscript to a children’s literary agency. So watch this space.

 

Since writing my post about feeling a little lost, I’ve started getting back into shape. I’ve decided now that Elijah is nearing his first birthday, it wouldn’t hurt to take a bit of downtime and hit the gym a few times a week. I also altered our diet and I’m pleased to report that in six short weeks I’ve lost nearly a stone and have dropped a dress size (welcome back size 8). It is so lovely to feel my confidence seeping back slowly at a rather rapid rate and has been a huge contribution to me feeling more like me again. If you want to keep up with my fitness journey or want to join me on it, I post my Shape Up Sunday posts every other Sunday.

 

The last few months have seen a lot of change, but it has really helped me feel more like me again. My anxiety is slowly ebbing away, I’m in a much better place, where I feel a lot happier and that has had a huge impact on the entire family. The children are noticeably happier and myself and Mr. C didn’t even have an argument a debate over the washing up when the dishwasher broke.

 

I think I forgot that as well as taking care of everyone else, I also need to take of myself. I’ve realised that while yes, I am the one the children are with all day, the one that keeps the house ticking over, the one that makes sure Mr. C is as supported as much as he can be in his endeavours, I’m also the person that is responsible for my own achievements and most importantly my own happiness. Altogether I feel a much stronger person, a much happier person and most importantly I’m no longer feeling in any way lost. Actually I’m feeling completely and wholeheartedly found.

 

Can you relate to this? How did you ‘find’ yourself after having children? I’d love to know, let me know in the comments, on Twitter, Instagram, or on Facebook. You can also follow me on Pinterest.

One thought

  1. I was exactly the same not so long ago (and still have my moments) and the best thing I did was to get into a few of my hobbies and interests again. I try hard to remember that self-care is not a luxury! Glad you’re feeling found again.

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