Yesterday was a bad day. A very bad day in fact.

Today was a bad day. A very bad day in fact.

 

Being a stay at home Mum with very limited support is pretty tough going sometimes and like anything, there are good days and bad days. Yesterday was a bad day. A very bad day in fact.

 

It all started by me turning up at the wrong church while trying to attend a new baby group in the morning. A friend of mine suggested it and we thought we were talking about the same place, but turns out that we weren’t and I ended up in a different village. Not a good start. I decided not to let that put a dampener on my day and as the boys were both snoozing in their pushchair, I took a walk around the village.

 

I decided to call Mr. C and tell him about the mix up while pushing the pram back to the car, when an elderly lady noticeably marked her disgust… a Mum on her phone? Obviously a terrible parent. Because she was an elderly lady and you have to respect your elders, I just forced a smile (which I think just angered her further). Had she not been an elderly lady, I probably would have noticeably marked my disgust at her sheer nosiness and unwarranted judgement.

 

After my walk, I bundled the boys back into the car and set about turning around to head home. Halfway through turning the car around, a cat meanders in front of the car and sits down. After trying to shoo the cat to no prevail, I then spend 10 minutes undertaking what felt like a 20 point turn in the tiny space I had left. Bloody cat!

 

During my 15 minute drive home, some crazy lady – who was either running very late or was a complete psychopath – drove 4 inches behind my car. A majority of the drive was in a 50 mph speed limit, so as you can imagine, this put me on edge. She eventually decided to overtake me once I had reached my village high street and nearly took two pedestrians and the side of my car with her. What a muppet!

 

Just before my road, a van a few cars in front takes a right at the very last minute and everyone behind them had to slam on their brakes. I left myself plenty of time to stop, the van behind me very nearly didn’t and ended up stopping centimetres before crashing into me.

 

Finally home and with my nerves shot to bits, I unbundle the boys from the car and announce to them and myself that we are all going to have a lovely rest of the day! I place Elijah on his playgym and drag out the painting easel for Oliver. The second the paint touches the paper, Elijah decides actually he’s not a fan of his playgym today and fancies sitting in his bouncer so that he can watch his brother do painting instead… typical.

 

During the 90 seconds that it takes me to move Elijah from the playgym to the bouncer and strap him in, Oliver has attempted to eat paint, drop a paintbrush on the floor, stepped in black paint and the easel has collapsed. Oliver is now hysterical, and running black paint though my house (and beige carpet), Elijah decides this is all a bit too dramatic for his liking and actually would quite like to be out of his bouncer now. I now have two children is hysterics, a house covered in paint, a broken Christmas present and that is when it comes out… “Can everyone just please STOP and be quiet”. There was a brief silence before everyone (including myself) breaks down in tears.

 

I’ve never yelled around my children before, I’ve never even come close really. It just not how I parent and it’s not a way of parenting I personally believe in.

 

It was at this moment – where I was completely at a loss with what to do – that Oliver stopped crying and walked to the kitchen and stood in front of the fridge. I composed myself and made both of the boys some milk. Oliver cuddled up to me, while I fed Elijah and calmness fell back over my house. After their milk, they both had a nap, which lasted long enough for me to clean up the paint, repair the easel and drink a hot of cup of tea.

 

 

Being a stay at home Mum with very limited support is pretty tough going sometimes and like anything, there are good days and bad days. Yesterday was a bad day. A very bad day in fact. But yesterday was yesterday, so that is where I’ll leave the judgemental elderly lady who thinks that mothers shouldn’t have phones, that is where I’ll leave that stupid bloody cat, that is where I’ll leave the paint being run through my house and that is where I will leave my bad day. Because not every day is a bad day. Today was a good day. Today was a very good day in fact.

 

Have you ever had a really bad day? Let me know in the comments, on Twitter or on Facebook. You can also follow me on Instagram and on Pinterest.

12 thoughts

  1. Oh Emma, I know how you feel sometimes. When I have whole days at home with both of them together it just all gets so stressful because you can guarantee that’s the day they’ll cry together, need nappy changes at the same time, one who wants to nap but won’t and one who wants to scream the house down when they do. I think I need to remember that yesterday is yesterday sometimes and that these are babies who need nurturing rather than a mum who raises her voice (I’ve done it way too much with Toby for the last 3 days but he’s been so difficult it’s hard to know what to do with him sometimes). I live for the cool, calm and collected mum I know I can be! xx

    P.s. Stupid old lady!

  2. Well done for staying so calm! I hate days like that where it just seems that everything is spiralling into a big mess, thank god for milk and nap time. Boo to judgemental horrors and terrible drivers! (I’ve spent the last 24 hours in paperwork hell because some nightmare drove into me while I was sat in traffic 😫) Hope the days since then have been better! X

    1. Oh no! Insurance claims are such a pain. I hope you got through it okay. The days since have been a lot better thank you, although I do still have the odd day where I want to hide in a cupboard and just eat chocolate… ha ha🙂

  3. This was my fb post a week or so ago:
    Why is everyone else better at my life than I am?

    I’m overwhelmed.
    And that’s a question that has been constantly running through my head for weeks. I’ve been trying so hard for such a long time to figure it out.

    I struggle on a daily basis to get everyone dressed and fed and changed and happy… and maybe sacrifice a shower myself in order to pick up the disaster in the kitchen before my husband comes home.
    The few times I ask someone to watch my kids for a few hours or when my husband has them alone on Sundays I come home and everything is done and then some. Dishes and laundry and you can see the living room floor…

    It’s the only question in my head as I’m trying to calm the baby at 5am or as I’m shoveling spoonfuls of now cold oatmeal into my mouth because Emmett decided he was starving at the exact moment I was taking the time to make my own breakfast.

    Why.
    Why is it easier for everyone else?! Why can’t someone say “oh man that was hard! I barely got a moment to myself today!”

    Why is it easier for everyone else?
    I am sitting on the floor in the playroom staring out at a unfolded basket of laundry. I wanted to fold it, but Celia wanted me to play in the playroom.
    I’m sitting on the floor and rocking Emmett and singing along to a country song playing on my phone and Emmett is no longer screaming and his eyes are growing heavy and Celia walks up to me and wraps her arms around my neck and rests her head on top of mine.
    “Hi momma” she says and she doesn’t let go. I stop singing because she has quite a hold on me and my ear is pressed up against her chest.
    Tha-thump
    Tha-thump
    Tha-thump

    This is why.
    Because on my list of things I’ve done and failed to do I can say I sat for a long minute and listened to the beat of the heart of the beautiful little blue eyed girl and it made everything calm and quiet and made the chaos and mess worth it.

    I want to tell my postpartum group that I feel overwhelmed bc they will understand
    Instead I wrote it here.
    Because I don’t want my life to appear to be some well oiled machine. It’s messy and hard and exhausting.

    But it’s also beautiful and rewarding.

    1. Thank you for sharing that post. Parenting can be overwhelming at times and just taking the time to have a cuddle, hear their heart beating or seeing them smile makes us realise just what is important… and it isn’t the washing pile!

  4. Well … I completely understand what you feel Emma … It happened to me , to raise my voice … And when it happens , i feel sick to bits after all … Worst , sometimes i swear in my mother tongue … Then i feel ashamed , crushed and i feel i dont deserve my little baby boy … :(((( I was raised in a household full of shouting .And i promised myself i wouldn’t do it . I know how harmful it is . You are really clever to remember that yesterday stays there. I have to learn this . Because when we live by yesterday it stops us from moving forward on how to be a better version of ourself , a better person , a better mum … Thanks for sharing this story .

    1. We all do the best we can and that is what is important. Parenting is a journey and we all have ups and downs. We are humans, with emotions and that is okay. We can’t always be perfect, we weren’t made to be perfect all the time. If we didn’t have anything to learn, life would get a bit boring after a while. I hope you have had better days since and if not, then just move that day into the yesterday pile and carry on moving forwards🙂

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